There’s an unspoken rule that guys are supposed to make the first move in any “relationship” with a girl. Because that is stereotypically what is done, that is what society has accepted as normal, and it is unusual for anyone, or any girl, to break that mold.
But some girl may have the courage to step outside her comfort zone and ask a guy to be her date to prom, and it could turn out really great or not so great.
There are a lot of pieces involved in a girl-to-guy promposal.
The perspective on a girl asking a guy to prom varies from person to person, as we found out when asking people about this topic. Some girls are more comfortable waiting because it is easier and safer than promposing; in addition, some girls may become “too nervous” to ask at all.
Being promposed to is also usually a cherished experience for a girl. As Council Rock South junior Marisa Verdi describes it, “I think it’s nice to feel special, which is what happens when the girls get promposed to.”
Another factor to take into account is if the girl and the guy go to the same school or not. Of the girls we talked to, many said they would wait to be asked if the guy went to their school but would ask the guy if he went to a different school.
There is definitely a stigma that goes with a girl promposing to a guy. Some girls view promposing to a guy as “desperate,” and that the guy should be the one to ask because it is considered “more special that way and more romantic.”
In addition, many girls who were asked thought it was considered “weird” socially for a girl to ask a guy to prom.
While this social stigma can seem overpowering, it should not deter any girl from promposing if she really wants to. While receiving a promposal can be exciting and fun, a girl simply has more control over her prom experience if she promposes herself.
According to Neshaminy High School junior Jessa Raab, “Deep down, every girl has that dream of flowers and a surprise, but the reality is that she has a better chance of having a good time with someone at prom if she goes for it and asks the guy that she wants to go with.”
So, despite the stigma surrounding a girl promposing, nothing should stop her if it’s something she truly wants to do.
"I think that girls asking guys to prom is risky, but I think it's something we should start to see as normal, to break gender roles," said reality panelist McKenna Samson of Lenape High School in New Jersey. "More power to the girls that do ask guys to prom."
While a rejected promposal is not desirable for anyone, rejection is often considered to be “worse in a girl’s case.” However, the concept of rejection is universal among guys and girls.
Raab makes another good point in saying, “No matter who’s asking or being asked, whether it guy or girl, the fear lives in the back of the person’s head that they’ll say no.”
This possibility, combined with the planning of the promposal, is unnerving after doing all of that work to put yourself out there.
All kinds of fears can spur from the possibility of a failed promposal, like awkwardness and the spreading of rumors, especially if the two people go to the same school. These fears can become so powerful that it discourages the girl from promposing entirely.
The fear of rejection constantly looms no matter who is asking, but hopefully the situation will go in the asker’s favor and he or she will receive a big, smiling “Yes!”
Grant Versfeld, a male reality panelist who was asked to junior prom last year by a girl at a different school, didn't think it was awkward.
"I have no problem with a girl asking a guy to prom," said Versfeld, a senior at the Hun School of Princeton. "It definitely doesn’t happen too often, but if the two people are friends, then I don’t think that a girl asking is a huge deal. If anything, it makes for a better story because it’s unique when a girl asks a guy."
Overall, the general consensus seemed to be that, despite certain concerns, it doesn't matter who asks whom, as summed up byreality panelist Hailie Higgins of Central Bucks West: “It’s wholeheartedly unremarkable if a girl asks a guy to prom … It’s no big deal who asks who anymore.”
She could not be more right. Our generation has become extremely accepting, so don’t worry about stigmas or what others think. Don’t be afraid to ask whomever you want and don’t let fear of rejection get in your head.
If the person you asks says no, there are plenty of other people who need a date, too, and you might just have a great time with them, instead.
The important thing isn't the promposal or what everybody else thinks. It’s that you pick a person you like and, when prom night rolls around, you have the time of your life.
