do I have to wear makeup to look professional, my boss wants "fun" but pointless perks, and more (2024)

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. Do I have to wear makeup to look professional?

I am a woman in my mid-twenties. Over the last year, I have grown more comfortable than I was before about going out without makeup. I never worked from home, as my role as a receptionist/administrative assistant isn’t conducive to that. But we have a laidback dress code and are located in a more rural area.

Several times recently, I’ve gone in to work dressed fairly casually (company hoodie, jeans, and sneakers) but the reactions I get when I have makeup done vs. not are startling. I am aware that makeup is a cultural norm but when did we start treating women who don’t wear makeup like they’re not fully dressed? I am clean, perfumed, hair brushed, and dressed like everyone else here. But if I’m not wearing makeup, I get treated differently. Aside from the usual “are you feeling okay?”comments, a few people treat me like I had the nerve to just roll out of bed and come in to the office. I get judgmental looks anytime I pass their work stations and have caught a few “facial expression conversations” between them.

I just recently got a decent raise and haven’t ever been spoken to about this by my supervisor, but our company president visits frequently enough that I’m nervous about it. I prefer not wearing makeup but am afraid I’m breaking some unspoken rule. If it matters, I am one of two women in an office of 20, in a male dominated field. So am I being considered “unprofessional” if I decide I don’t want to wear makeup on a given day?

You don’t need to wear makeup to be professional. There are some fields where a higher level of polish is expected, and makeup is often — although not always — part of that look, but if hoodies and sneakers are fine in your office, it doesn’t sound like you’re in one of those fields.

I suspect what’s happening is actually about the contrast; if you normally wear makeup and occasionally you don’t, people are responding to the difference in your appearance. Most likely, on the days without makeup, you look less “done” than how they’re used to seeing you. That doesn’t mean you’re less professional on those days; it just means that you look different than what they’re used to. If you stopped wearing makeup entirely, or hardly ever wore it, the contrast would disappear and the comments might stop.

That said, if hoodies and sneakers are pretty casual compared to what most people in your office wear, it might be the combination of super casual dress and no makeup. If that’s the case, you could try dressing up slightly more and see if no makeup registers differently when you do.

Regardless, though, anyone exchanging looks with someone else over your lack of makeup is an ass.

2. My office want to to offer “fun” but pointless perks

I work at a mid-size nonprofit that has a large budget and endowment. C-suite execs here make six figures. About 50% of our staff was remote before the pandemic, living around the country. The average age of our staff is mid-40s, and I’m one of the youngest.

Even as Covid continues, the board is pressuring the CEO to get the non-remote people back to the office. The CEO has also been concerned in the past about getting younger people to apply to work here.With that in mind, I’ve been asked by the CEO about what “fun” things we could get. Someone suggested a gaming system once Covid eases up. I found this idea ridiculous. We don’t even play regular games now.

Moreover, my manager is now tasked with getting our department something “fun.” Ideas include a coffee station (we only have generic nasty coffee that I wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot pole), popcorn machine, candy dispensers, healthy snacks, mini fridge, etc. I would love any of these. I asked if there would be a restocking budget and was told no. If we must bring in our own supplies, what’s the point? It’s just one more thing to clean and pay for. We got a coffee pod machine at my last organization. We had to bring in our own pods for and it was a mess, so experience tells me this will get old fast.

This is on the heels of the office cleaning schedule being reduced to once a week, the A/C and heating system not working for the past six months, and the parking lot completely covered in ice whenever the temperature drops below freezing. We are not lacking funds. We seem to be lacking common sense and safe and comfortable working conditions though. And it’s making people angry.

Should I say anything to my manager and/or the CEO about how tone deaf these “perks” sound? I have a good rapport with both of them, and they’ve appreciated my honesty in the past. When I asked to go back home last summer because of delta, they took notice of that and began offering it to other people as well.

Yes, tell them! Explain that perks that employees need to pay to stock won’t be seen as perks, and buying things like candy dispensers when the AC and heat still aren’t working will make morale worse rather than increasing it. You also should explain that “fun” won’t get people back to the office, and won’t generally attract younger employees either — to do the latter you need to look at bigger things like generous time off, flexible schedules, and, yes, remote work when roles allow for it. If you have the kind of rapport that let you be very blunt, you could also point out that this overall focus on “fun” risks causing real cynicism because (a) people will rightly question why that’s being prioritized when more pressing needs are ignored, and (b) it will make the org’s management seem out-of-touch with what people really care about.

(I can’t tell if the gaming system is still under consideration, but if it is, point out that few people want to play video games at work if it means staying at the office longer — which it does — and it’s likely to seem like pandering to someone’s idea of what young people want, rather than responding what they actually want.)

Read an update to this letter.

3. Do I need an official paycheck to put a job on my resume?

My husband and I have a family business (e-commerce). For various reasons that made sense at the time, we decided to have my husband’s name on the paychecks and W2s. When our first child was a baby, I quit my regular job to work our family business. That was nine years ago.

I do the bulk of the work for our business. (He has a different full-time job). My husband and I make larger decisions together, but the day to day running of it, the customer service, the accounting, the IT support, etc. — that’s all me. He takes a phone call here or there, but it’s basically my job. Paychecks still happen to have his name on them. We do all our finances together anyway, so personally it makes no difference and switching everything would be a hassle.

When I someday rejoin the workforce and need a resume, is there any reason this job can’t be listed? I honestly did the work, and paychecks were deposited to our (joint) account. I could demonstrate the skills and experience in an interview, but I don’t have any paper trail in my name to prove it.

You can still list the job; it’s your job, after all. But you should switch the paychecks over to your name now, for a whole bunch of reasons. One, it’s possible that some future employer will ask for W2s (it’s not super common but it happens) and it could be a problem if you don’t have them. Two, by reporting all your pay in your husband’s name, it’s counting toward his Social Security earnings and not yours. Three, you can’t predict the future and it’s possible that at some point you’ll want to rent an apartment, apply for a mortgage, or otherwise do things in your own name, without your husband, that require proving your employment. Whatever hassle it would be to correct the name on payroll (and it really shouldn’t take long) is dwarfed by any of those risks.

4. Another department keeps trying to poach me and I don’t want to be insulting

I work at a R1 school as a post award administrator. My department is one of the larger ones on campus with lots of grants so I have experience working with a lot of different funding sources.

Three times now, the head of sponsored research has sought me out to tell me about job postings in his department. It’s more money, he says. I’d be a great fit. Except I have zero interest in working there. They have a high turnover rate, it’s super stressful, they are not flexible about working from home or family situations. Also I know from former colleagues that work there that the office culture is awful.

I’ve said I’ll look at postings, but I’m happy where I am. And still he keeps asking. Normally I’d just be direct and say I’m not interested, but he’s a big up in the administration here and I really don’t want to piss him off and then it come back to bite me later.

Next time he asks, say this: “I’m flattered that you’ve encouraged me to apply, but I’m happy where I am right now and I don’t want to make a move for now. I’ll let you know if that changes at some point!”

That way you’re making it about being happy where you are (a positive) rather than not wanting to work in his department (a negative).

5. My employer won’t adjust time clock mistakes

My boss recently sent an office-wide email announcing that HR would no longer be adjusting time clock punches for people who don’t clock in or out correctly. She said that since the system is easy to use, no one should have any issues.

I’m not one to forget to clock in, and I feel like this is probably in response to a few chronic mis-punchers, but can they legally do this? What would enforcing this policy even look like? I’ve never known management here to be unfair or punitive so this move just seems really weird to me.

Nope, they cannot. Assuming we’re talking about non-exempt staff, employers are required by law to pay people for all the time they actually worked, even if they didn’t log it correctly because they forgot to clock in or out. They can discipline people for not clocking in or out correctly — hell, they can even fire them for it if they want — but they are legally required to pay for the time worked anyway.